While I may be insecure with certain aspects of myself, I can fully acknowledge that my ability to dirty talk is certainly not one of them. Whether it’s messaging a guy over Tinder or whispering in my lover-for-the-nights’ ear, dirty talk is an essential part of my sex life. A dirty-talk connoisseur if you wish.

When it comes to dirty talk, the questions you need to ask yourself are simple: is it going to turn him on? Is it going to make him moan? And most importantly is it going to make him want to fuck your brains out? If yes is the answer, then you know what you’re doing hunny. If you cringed at the ‘fuck your brains out’ bit, then get over it girl – dirty talk can be cringe but it’s hot AF.

Of course, dirty talk is all down to individual tastes. For example, for some females, the thought of being called a whore might feel degrading. For me, a submissive, allowing my partner to degrade me in a misogynistic manner knowing fully well he is NOT a misogynist turns me on. Call me a whore and a slut all you like – I’ve agreed to it. Sure, dirty talk can take a lot of confidence but knowing you can turn your sexual partner on in just a matter of seconds is liberating.

Whether you’re a dominant, submissive or a bit of both there’s a lot of things you can say which is bound to turn your man on.

Here’s some basic tips on how to be a dirty talk pro whether it’s for bae or Tinder bae:

  1. BE DESCRIPTIVE: The important thing is to be descriptive. ‘I want you to fuck me’ is assertive and hot but is that really all you want to do? Maybe try ‘I want to bend over for you and I want you to fill me up with your big cock.’ Or instead of ‘I want so suck your cock’ try ‘I want to put my lips around your cock and deepthroat you’.
  2. DICK WORDS: Whatever you’re going to call them, say it passionately. Personally, I prefer cock or dick. Words with one syllables often sound more serious. Plus, willy just sounds weird. ‘I want to bounce on your big dick until you come.’
  3. SOBRIQUETS: Maybe you’re feeling a little bit choked up about dirty talking? How about ‘choke me daddy?’. OK, I know the daddy thing isn’t for everyone but it’s worth a try at least once. Remember, telling your partner what to do is domineering yet the choking action is ultimately domineering on his behalf. So really, you’ve got the best of both worlds. If you’re going to nickname his penis something genuine such as goliath it’s probably best you ask first.
  4. MANNERS: OK, unless you’re Christian I’m pretty sure we all like a bit of swearing now and again. Taboo as it might be, sex and swearing go hand in hand. The one syllable thing is perfect for this too. Fuck, cunt, slut, tits, shit, slut. Anything goes. Just make sure you put it in the right context. ‘I want to fuck the shit out of you’ never sounds good EVER. Like what, literal shit? Try ‘Oh shit, I want to fuck you so bad.’

Dirty talking may feel intimidating at first but the more you do it the more confident you will feel. And if it doesn’t work on him then fuck him. Either literally or figuratively.