BEIGE IS NOT THE NEW BLACK

 

Join me on my never-ending quest to find the perfect, sexy bra.

img_1465Now, I am not arguing that I do not ever want to wear a beige bra… every woman needs at least one. But come on guys, us big breasted women deserve to feel sexy in lace, silk and even satin too!

I think Shakira called it when she sang how lucky she was because her breasts were ‘small and humble’… yes, when it comes to sexy lingerie shopping you are girl! Financing the puppies can be a real challenge and I refuse to spend my hard earned dosh on a bra similar to the one Robin Williams wore in Mrs Doubtfire. There’s nothing worse than underwear shopping with your friends, you always end up hating their normal-sized breasts. You especially resent the ones who don’t even need to wear a bra and are as peaky as Cher Horowitz before she finds out Christian was gay (come on girl, did you not see his shoes?!)

Your friends head over to the ‘tiny, lacey’ section and you are directed to what can only be described as the ‘ valley of the beige’. We’re all guilty of squeezing our tatas into a bra that’s too small simply because we like the colour or cleavage it gives us, but to avoid the dreaded breast clap or nip-slip with every footstep we need to strap those babies down.

Luckily the lingerie market has heard the cry of big-breasted lasses everywhere and finally brought out some designs that don’t have the strap width of a tank.

Brands like Playful Promises and Curvy Kate have sprung up all over the globe. From ASOS to Marks and Sparks (who recently increased their sizing to a J cup – thanks guys!), we now don’t have to feel like a side-show freak every time we set foot in a lingerie section.

We’ve all been there… when a sweet and innocent shop assistant brings in a beige monstrosity for you to try. All you want to do is tell her where to shove it but we bite our tongues, politely try it on and cry about it later. Unfortunately for us well-endowed girls, our lingerie tends to be expensive due to the sheer amount of material needed to hoist and harness the melons. Thanks to the amount of buxom women crying out for sexy underwear all over the globe shopping trips now don’t have to break the bank.

img_2384Let’s face it girls, our breasts are magnificent unique specimens that should be celebrated… big breasted women of the world unite!

DICKTECTIVE #2

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