You’ve just been dumped. Shit has officially hit the fan. You’re asking yourself ‘why?’ and wondering what you could have done differently to have reached a less painful outcome. It is also highly likely that you are currently consuming unhealthy amounts of chocolate and smoking way too many cigarettes.
Breakups – they’re shit. Unfortunately something that I know all too well is that they hurt. They hurt like hell. The fact of the matter is, if you have manage to get through your twenties and have not, at some point, had your heart completely broken then you’re either the luckiest person on earth or the most unfortunate. Unfortunate? Yes, because nothing builds character and resiliency more than getting completely screwed over.
But right now, nothing anyone says or does is going to make you feel better. Essentially, the carpet underneath you has lifted and your future plans are… well, in the toilet. It feels bad, really bad. If you have managed to eat an actual meal and wash your hair within the first week of being broken up with then girl you are already BOSSING this. In an effort to offer you some hope, I can tell you something for sure… you’re going to be okay. Like, really okay.
Been left high and dry like you never mattered? Been there. Does it really get easier? Hell yes. Please believe me when I tell you that your destiny will never be tied to any man who leaves you. I am sure you’re thinking ‘ but we were supposed to be together’… are you ready for the hard truth? That’s bullshit. If you were supposed to be with this person and your relationship was part of someone or something else’s greater plan then it would have NOT ended the way it did. Wake up and smell the coffee darling… fate has much bigger plans for you girl.
So, first things first. Ride those waves of emotions. That was the best piece of advice I was ever given. Ride the wave, baby, cry every last tear. Then, when you’re done… pick your self up off that sofa and go buy some new bed sheets. Hell, redecorate your whole room if you have to! It is now time to take back your life and boss this breakup.
Now, you may have read that throwing away all of the thoughtful items you have kept from your relationship might be something you’ll regret in the future but fuck that. That’s bullshit. It’s not like your future grandchildren are going to be asking to read the birthday card an ex boyfriend once wrote you are they? Chuck it! Don’t hang onto the memories of a person who did not appreciate the magical unicorn of a woman you are, get rid! Those things he left in your draws and pieces of clothing of his that you used to wear? Bin them! The last letter or note he left you before he so easily walked away? No thanks! Bin it. It is time to open up a new chapter in your beautiful life, one that will be filled with laugher and achievement not rejection and disappointment!
Next, list in your mind or on a piece of paper all of the things that you want to do for YOURSELF in the next year. That place in the world that you have always wanted to see? Put it on the list, sugar. Now is the time for YOU. Go and buy yourself a sexy new outfit because, lets face it, no one is going to judge how much money you spend on yourself when you have a broken heart are theyIt’s time to get your SASS back. You’re no longer a man’s little ‘princess’ but now you’re a fucking QUEEN and you don’t need no king to get shit done.
Go out with your girlfriends! Stay out as late as you want. You want to know why? Because you now have no one to answer to! You’re now, for the first time in a long time, no longer tied to having to come home for someone. The only person you have to please is yourself! And it feels fucking brilliant. Do all of those things that your ex hated you doing. Spend your money however the hell you want, have that next glass of wine and for Christ’s sake if you want a fucking cigarette, have a fucking cigarette! Watch all of the movies that you couldn’t watch with him, listen to all of those songs that he hated you for liking! Get down to the gym and shake that body that your mumma gave ya. Step out of your comfort zone!
Something you will learn much faster than you will predict is that you should not ever have to change the amazing person that you are just because it suddenly became unacceptable to your ex! It is well over-due for you to fall in love with yourself again. After all, how can anyone else love you if you do not love yourself? The only person that can free you from your hurt and rejection is you. Take your time to figure out what kind of person you want to be! You’re going to boss this breakup. Why? Because you’re a fucking queen
Love DJ Guest Blogger Becca